Kaitlyn Dever Shares How She Filmed ‘The Last of Us’ After Losing Her Mother: “I Was in a Daze”

When Kaitlyn Dever stepped onto the set of The Last of Us Season 2, she carried more than just the weight of her role — she was carrying the fresh, raw grief of losing her mother. In a candid and emotional reflection, Dever recently opened up about how deeply personal that time was, revealing how her real-life loss shaped her performance in one of the show’s most powerful moments.

Coping With Grief in the Midst of Filming

In early 2024, Dever’s mother, Kathy, passed away after a long battle with metastatic breast cancer — a fight that lasted 14 years. Just three days after saying her final goodbye at her mother’s funeral, Dever was back at work filming one of the most emotionally charged scenes in The Last of Us: the confrontation where Abby (her character) kills Joel, played by Pedro Pascal.

Reflecting on that time, Dever described herself as being “in a daze,” navigating the fog of fresh grief while trying to fulfill her professional responsibilities. She admitted that preparing for the scene felt different from her usual process. Typically, she would spend weeks studying lines and building her character. But in those heavy days, she leaned into the overwhelming emotions instead, letting them guide her performance naturally.

A Set Filled With Compassion

Understanding how difficult this was for her, the production team and director Craig Mazin made it clear that Dever’s emotional health came first. Mazin spoke openly about his decision, explaining that no television show — no matter how big — should take precedence over someone’s personal grieving process.

The environment on set was carefully handled. Dever’s team requested that the subject of her mother’s death not be brought up around her during filming. This small but crucial act allowed her the emotional space to control her feelings and focus when needed, while still carrying her grief privately.

This compassionate atmosphere made a real difference. It allowed Dever to pour her emotions into her portrayal of Abby, creating a performance that felt heartbreakingly real.

When Art and Life Intersect

The lines between Kaitlyn Dever’s real-life pain and Abby’s fictional struggles were incredibly thin. In The Last of Us, Abby’s story is deeply rooted in loss — and Dever said that living through her own grief made her understand her character on a much deeper level.

One particularly emotional moment during filming involved a dream sequence where Abby encounters her younger self, warning her against entering a room where her father lies dead. In a touching twist, Dever’s real father was visiting the set that day, and both he and Kaitlyn found themselves moved to tears by the resonance between art and life.

“I could feel the realness in that moment,” Dever shared. It was more than acting — it was lived experience bleeding into the story.

A Performance That Struck a Chord

Dever’s portrayal of Abby has been widely praised by critics and fans alike. Rather than focusing on brutality or spectacle, Dever brought a raw emotional truth to the role. The pivotal scene where Abby kills Joel was handled with a focus on emotional weight — showing pain, anger, and heartbreak all at once.

Critics noted that Dever managed to transform Abby from a controversial figure in the original video game into a character that viewers could understand — even if they didn’t always agree with her actions. Her performance made Abby’s pain feel real, layered, and unforgettable.

Final Thoughts: Strength Through Vulnerability

Kaitlyn Dever’s story reminds us that behind every great performance, there’s a human being with their own struggles, heartaches, and triumphs. Her decision to step back into work after such a devastating loss — and to use her grief to bring deeper honesty to her character — is a testament to her strength as both an artist and a person.

Through her portrayal of Abby, Dever not only honored her character’s journey but, in many ways, honored her mother’s memory too — proving that even in our darkest moments, storytelling can be a powerful way to heal.